You Know You Are in Arizona When…

  • You’ve signed so many petitions to recall governors you can’t remember the name of the incumbent.
  • You notice your car overheating before you drive it.
  • You no longer associate bridges or rivers with water.
  • You know a swamp cooler is not a happy hour drink.
  • You can hear the weather forecast of 115 degrees without flinching.
  • You can be in the snow, then drive for an hour…and it will be over 100 degrees.
  • You discover, in July it only takes two fingers to drive your car, because your steering wheel is so hot.
  • You can make sun tea instantly.
  • You run your a/c in the middle of winter so you can use your fireplace.
  • The best parking is determined by shade…..not distance.
  • You realize that “Valley Fever” isn’t a disco dance.
  • Hotter water comes from the cold water tap than the hot one.
  • It’s noon in July, kids are on summer vacation and yet all the streets are totally empty of both cars and people.
  • You actually burn your hand opening the car door.
  • Sunscreen is sold year round, kept right at the checkout counter.
  • Sunscreen with less than 50 spf is a joke.
  • You put on fresh sunscreen just to go check the mail box.
  • Some fools will market mini-misters for joggers and some other fools will actually buy them. Worse…..some fools actually try to jog.
  • You know hot air balloons can’t rise because the air temperature is hotter than the air inside the balloon.
  • No one would dream of putting vinyl inside a car.
  • You see two trees fighting over a dog.